Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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