: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
