I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
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No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
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My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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