Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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