My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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