i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
