we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
