so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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