Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
