he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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