One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
