I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
