My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
