Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
