ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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