So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
