Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
