Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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