And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
