i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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