He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
