So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
