It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
