you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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