I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
