I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
