just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
