I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
