I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize