She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
