I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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