you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
