Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
it's like iHOP with fire
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
