Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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