Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
