A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
