So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
