You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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