I only kidnapped one of them. chill
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
