you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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