Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
