Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
