My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
