I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
