Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize