Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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