3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize