Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
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She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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