i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
