I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize