HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
not ubering you a puppy
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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