did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
