I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.