After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.