i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.