He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
