Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
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how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask