he wants to bone in the snuggie
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.