i jhust puked up my retainher.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.