suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
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Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
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She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux