you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision