I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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