Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
