we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
