It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
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GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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