That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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