Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize