evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize