I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
