I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
