They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
